Moments in the Secret Place

Mystery...

it sits with me
in a kiss of brokenness-

In a washing of His Presence,

leaving me
breathlessly weak, I am

still...

In the Valley of Baca
ground soaked -

He sees me.

Seeds watered,
not gone unseen,

Letting go, I'm released-

to dream and breath;
beautifully broken,
He sweetly whispers...

come away,
with Me.

Landscapes Within My Soul

You come with
gentleness,
meeting me in my
woundedness.

A tear is

falling
from Your cheek, as You
walk in.

After a little while-
of sitting at my side

seeing my deep needs,

You serve me.

Offering a plater of
faith and trust, as You whisper to me,
my name......

Dawn.....


followed by the truth that
Dawn comes,

just after the darkest window of night.....

Rising .......
is
Your everlasting hope,
with warmth,
where Your Spirit
reaches the coldest
places of my
inward parts.

Holy Spirit...
without You,
I would otherwise,
have no assurance
for the dawn.

Reaching the eye in me....
my most tear broken
of moments....

Dive into the
well of my soul...

where corosion
in hollow crevices,
unknown to most,
still thirst for release,
to be cleansed

from the mold
of my past.

Bit by bit,
You have chiseld
off residue,... in a

refining...as like
silver;

gold.
You watch, as I
too often, resist,
surrender.

You understand,
though what often,
I do not.
I question at times,

how You understand,
when nothing changes,
and burning ensues.
Nothing can be

secluded
from You, but
rather it is only a matter of

being broken,
by the storm-
before I admit
how You knew
all along.....deep pain songs
I was singing.

It's then too,
that I praise You,

Oh Lord...
with my eyes,
absorbing Your beauty....

whether they can see or
not see
through the storm,
I begin to see You
there, with me.

For me.

You stay with me,

Lord, with Your
Holy Spirit....

wrap-
ping

around me

in

the cold
of my shame,

in the heat
of my blame
in the darkness,
of my pain....
You press in until I know
You, have found
me.

When cowered

in a ball, in
the corner of unbelief

You shelter me
from further attack
of such enemies.....
though I don't always see,
it is Your love,

that does not
escape me.

There is nothing, tootight for You,
that you cannot unlock

within me.
Though I may fight,

too keep hidden,

any deeper doorstucked

far within me,

You let me fight,

until I'm weak......

and You rescue me from

what remains,

so that You, may radiate
in all Your glory!

Your patience Lord,

grows me,it is never sleeping!

Not even a nap -

do You allow Yourself.

Like how You
wait for the storms-

to pass...
wretched in fear

inducing debrie,

still you wait, for

someone, like me.

Never late are You,
with the rising sun.

It rises,

on far horizons,
though .....

somedays, we may not see...

the color it's painting
with His every rhythm....
over the open seas,
of life.

Over faces of
change,
You Oh Spirit of God,
never dress Yourself
in masks of deciept,

but only in that
which is

lovely.

Eventually,

I begin again,

letting the pen

flow
out all
that lies
within.

And again,
eventually,
I come back.
Kneeling down at the bedside
of my soul.

How You always
show me,

I am worth Your time.
Your Spirit takes

time,
even while I sleep, to

churn slowly,
yet fearlessly,
these fragile pieces of resignation.

Pieces that from time to time,
teter,back and forthback and forth
back and forth .....
contemplating their
stay, to where each and every
piece

of surrender,

of anger,

of hurtful words...

debate their chance to

runfrom this safety....seemingly

still a bit unstable,

for they're locked in a stable
of doubt,struggling to beleive,

there is a way out....
still insecure at their new
found place,but with diligent pace,

Your hope runs.....
like faucets of crystal mountain
springs...

in another rush

for healing...

That place inside my

painful mind
of choice ....

that to remain,
in the rush of thislonged for washing,

I will not drown.

Dawn Shape

embracethedance - publishing

copywrite 2006

Perfection, completion, fullness...

I had challenged myself tonight to a 45 min. run. Wanted to see just how far I would go and if I could manage that long, at the pace I run.  I got just past my normal 30 min. mark.  In that time, I off and on, increased my pace.  Seeing that I had about 15 min. left, I began to feel the difficulty that the 'last leg' of the run might be for me. 

Here I've been sweating profusely, while at the same time, enjoying the breeze of the built in fan on the Elliptical.  But, in that moment while preparing mentally for what began to feel harder and harder, a sudden sense of His Presence, fell on me.  I knew that I felt Him, my Jesus, almost as though He walked up behind me, and breathed His strength on me, in a way that would let me know He was right there with me. 

Each time I have been working out, doing my run... He has whispered.  It has been lyrics each time.  Yes, in one way it's inconvenient for me, because I'm either going to have to stop and log into facebook and send me a personal message to write them, or say them over and over again till I'm done, and well,.... that's not easy or preferred.  I've learned also that those are "divine" interruptions, and I think they are to teach me to "pause" and respond to The One Thing- Worship- in whatever way that comes.  To steward those moments in a posture of obedience, in recognizing He is seeing if I will respond delightfully when it may be a bit inconvenient... for the sake of His gaze and adoration.  Intimacy and the gift of His ever increasing hosting of His Presence in my life.

As quickly as that breath of His Presence fell upon me, it also left.... not that He left, for He's with me everywhere I go... but that moment of His 'manifest' Presence.... I feel it tangibly when it comes...

Then I heard His whisper in that same moment it fell upon me....

"this literal workout and run, (like the running of your life),... that has right now become harder, more difficult, and a run that you stretched yourself to achieve...  is like that run of your life.  When you have felt you just can't go much farther without wanting and considering "stopping or giving up".... I have come all those times and breathed upon you.  NO, you haven't always been aware or noticed when I have... what pleases me and delights me, is that you have always responded in courage...even when you did not discern my breath upon your strides, moving you further than what you thought you could go...  You have not given up on the race.  I love this about you. Even when you went into that spiritual a coma... when all you could do is breath on the sidelines.... in the secret place of your soul.... you cried out to Me, over and over you cried out to Me, in your anger and in your sadness.... you still came, to Me.  No, you didn't see Me well then... but you never stopped coming to Me... that is what running life is about... Never taking your eyes off of your true North... and even when deceived in the midst of the trial.... you looked for Me, and continued to look for Me.

I completed my run tonight....

As I wrote that last line above, suddenly I saw the number of miles in my mind, that I ran tonight... and I looked up at Him and began to giggle... and giggle... and giggle.... why?

I ran 7.1 miles tonight in my set out goal of 45 min. 

Do you know what the number 7 means...?

Perfection, completion, fullness..

He is so beautiful how He speaks to me... how even now in my writing, He whispers things that I didn't catch earlier, to confirm to me, "Yes, my Daughter.... I was with you tonight, and I breathed on your pace tonight so that you could come to a perfect place of completion, in all the fullness of My Presence." 

He whispers...
He delights in the whispers...
He delights in our listening to those whispers...
He delights in teaching us His beautiful love language He has specifically designed for each one of us.

Have you asked Him to teach you, reveal to you, how He longs and does whisper to you? 

Come... invite Him to teach you and unveil His unique way of whispering....

It is the sacred song of songs... reserved just for you...

He's waiting....

Rest in the Race

I've begun running again on an Eliptical.  Its been such an encouragement for me!  Today, while pushing a much higher level of resistance, feeling the demand of breathing required, I began to see into the moment, more deeply.

I noticed that my only focus physically was my breathing.  It became what was right in the forefront of my mind.  It was in rhythm with my pace, and the music I was listening to.  I became so aware of my breathing, that I couldn't think of anything else.  It became prominent, to everything else that was going on with my body.  My goal was to finish, and finish well.  To maintain a pace that would keep me on target.  But, what rhythm was playing musically impacted greatly my ability to keep pace.  And every breath properly inhaled and exhaled, also greatly impacted my overall ability to continue the run.

Then, my thoughts were intercepted.  I saw the run I was doing in metaphor and all that was physically manifesting and going on inside me and with me, became a spiritual moment.

My run became the race of life.  The difficulty and level at which I was running became the seasons of warfare.  The music became the things I let sing over me, spiritually... in my mind, through my mouth.  What I choose to spend my time listening to, .... My breath became that which I choose to breath in spiritually speaking.

Then, as my breathing became consistent I realized it rested into a place of consistency.... it stayed the same, and my breathing rested into a pace and pattern that kept my lungs and ability to run, moving forward.  If in any way I would change my breathing, it changed my capacity to stay on pace and in rhythm.

Breathing became a siginificant point of contact on how I was doing.

I have had my share, long term even- seasons of warfare.  I have had my share of difficulty in navigating how I should run the race, in the midst of it.  I have often times... found moments when I just wanted to give up breathing... as I did today while running.  When the run was getting so hard that I knew the only thing that would keep me going was the goal.... my goal was to maintain the 7 min. mile I was aiming for over the course of 30min. regardless of the increase I chose in resistance today.

This all translated to my spirit like this...

When the race becomes so hard that we barely are able to find the breath to continue, let alone see it through to the finish... what we surround our self with, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, and physically is vitally connected and imperative to the end result.

What I listen to - will determine my pace; my mind becomes filled with lies midst the run of life, my pace will be detrimentally affected... it will slow my rhythm, and slow to a place of literally wanting to give up.  That is the goal of the lie.... to ultimately exchange a truth for the lie.... which is always to steel, kill and destroy- your run or your race of life.

What I breath in - will affect the oxygen that I have going into my spirit... it will affect how I speak, how I go about my day...  it will rob me of finding joy vs. negativity in all forms.  Jesus said, "my words are spirit and truth."  What we take into our spirit, will affect our spirit in direct correlation to the spirit behind what we are taking in.  HOW vital it is to be mindful of what I allow to hover and pour into my spirit, ... for what comes in, will come out! Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.... so its essential that I guard what the springs of my heart have going into them.  (Proverbs 4:23)

What I look at - what I focus on and gaze upon as Bill Johnson says, "We always reflect the nature of the world we are most aware of. ----Bill Johnson (Hosting The Presence)"  So... am I looking at all the difficulty, challenge and darkness that surrounds me, keeping my gaze in fear?  OR am I looking from Heaven to Earth?  From His Kingdom Come to Earth.... Looking into His Word, for Jesus is the Word made flesh to this world, for our healing and deliverance-  AM I remembering that I am seated in "heavenly places" and letting this impact my 'sight'?  My long distance vision?  (Eph. 2:6) For this will affect my perspectives - living FROM Victory, or TO Victory?

When these things are made mindful in my life, then my breathing and going through, my ability to continue to run, enters a place of Rest.  Rest.  "For in quietness and trust (rest) is your strength." (Isaiah 30:15)  When you are in a peace filled state of rest... your breathing settles into a place of rest.  Like your 'resting heart rate."... Your spirit settles into a resting heart rate in the spiritual realm... where your spirit can rest in a state of peace, because your gaze, what is going into your spirit, what your focus is upon, begins to manifest physically and mentally and spiritually... causing you to go through till the end.

I made my goal today.  It was difficult.  It required everything for me, to finish.  My eyes set as a flint to the north on truth, and persevering.  My spirit coming into agreement with His Spirit... letting in the good... that I might find strength.  Breathing in His words of truth, songs of worship and songs of strength.... letting my pace physically and spiritually rest into a place that was strong, and deeply rooted in truth!  

Take a deep breath...

and may you run with patient endurance, the race set before you... and may you find rest, for your soul... on the road ahead...

The Game Changer

Please take a moment to watch the video here, before reading the devotional.

 

 

 

 

 

 A town perishing.  Invaded by evil- breathing death over all who dwell there.  Imminent destruction by an enemy bread for one purpose.  Destroy all who live. 

 

Such evil brings not just fear, in its attempt to destroy, but with that fear comes lies.  Lies meant to undergird the very fear, the very assignment decreed - against them.

 

What does man do against such hate?  Such evil?  Where is there any hope, in a battle that appears all has been forsaken?

 

You've been there, haven't you!?!?! 

 

If not, you may yet encounter such a moment. 

 

Gripping my fingers tightly to the arms of the theatre chair, I was feeling the gripping fear overcoming the town. 

 

But the father had a plan... that would be unstoppable in his heart.

 

And his son, that saw beyond the evil, and into the opportunity before him, ran to seize what he saw as key to overcoming what was facing all of them.   

 

It would be a pivotal game changer for the fate of Lake Town.  Though he could have been drowned by fear, courage and faith was swallowed instead.  It propelled him into the high places, where only there are our enemies faced and taken down.  A realm that few climb to.... but many need to. 

 

Man often will attempt to use his "own arrows" to fight a battle.  Reaching into his own resource and wisdom to wage war.  Grabbing for anything that might take down the darkness.  Soon finding... it is no match for what is before him. 

 

Leaving him without armor strong enough to overcome.

 

In the midst of the battle, he will encounter lies.  There will always be lies. 

 

For lies are the hinges on which the doors of evil remain open.  Whereas truth is the handle we hold onto, keeping such doors firmly shut.

 

And so what do we hear Smaug, spew forth?

 

"Who are you to stand against me? "What a pity... what will you do now, Bowman?"  "You are forsaken!"  "No help will come!" 

 

And, the battle will always be personal... or eventually become personal....

"Is that your child?" "You cannot save him from the fire, he will burn!"

 

I have heard everyone of these lies assault me into the terror of fear.  And, I imagine you have a story or two to tell, when you did too. 

 

As I peered deeper into this scene, I saw this to be one of the most beautiful scenes I think, ever.  At least one of them.  How can that be so, you might be asking... ? 

 

As the son stood top of that tower right in the center of the battle, he heard the words of his father gently, draw near.  In the stillness of the father's own courage, he tells his son...

 

"Stay still, son."

 

In another story, the words are written.... "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  Psalm 46:10

 

The father realizes then in that moment, that his son is standing not only in the gap of this evil before him, but that his son is also going to steady and provide him a place in which to rest the very arrow that will defeat Smaug. 

 

Something so deep rose up in my spirit as I watched this.... His son, was the one who held the weapon through which the enemy, the dragon would be defeated. 

 

In another story...The Father, sends His son as the weapon that would defeat the dragon, Satan.  On a high place on a hill, hanging on wood, on a cross.  It would be the ultimate game changer for all mankind.

 

The son, stands facing the father, while the dragon as you see, is breathing a fiery breath of evil against the sons back.  Horror surrounding him.  In a moment the son turns his gaze away from the father, and stretching slowly turns his gaze onto the dragon.  While doing so, the father says,

 

 "Look at me, you look at me." 

 

In another story, facing the fiery breath of Satan's lies against him, while facing the cross, the Son of God is tempted to turn his gaze from the Father to the evil facing Him.  But, in that garden, where he sweat drops of blood, as a precursor to the blood that would come pouring out of His body... He looks up to His father after pleading this cup be taken from Him, and says, "Not my will, but Yours." 

 

We can only do the will of the Father, when we set our gaze upon Him.  For it is then we can like Jesus, see the joy set before Him.  And the joy promised before us.    Isaiah 50:7 ....Therefore, I have set My face like flint,"  When we steady our gaze upon the Father in Heaven, the enemy's voice will hold no sway over us.  Fear becomes faith as we set our eyes, our gaze on the Father. 

 

It is imperative that we understand that what we set our gaze upon, we make agreement with.  As this son stood steady and still, eyes fixed on his father, the son made agreement with his father, therefore empowering his father.  In the same way when we set our gaze on our Father, we empower the angelic realm to go to battle on our behalf. 

 

When we begin to understand also, that agreement with fear will always empower the enemy, but agreement with faith in our Father, will empower His Heavenly Kingdom, we will learn that the enemy really is all about bringing a "rattling" noise around us to distract us, get our eyes and gaze off of our Father, as sons and daughters.   

 

Furthermore, the son helped his father the most, when he kept his gaze on his father.  In the same way, we help our Heavenly Father most when we fix our eyes on Him, and His son, Jesus.  And we can be certain, that our Heavenly Father, through the voice of His Holy Spirit will always call us back to his face, call our gaze back to Him at the very moment the enemy speaks lies to us.  Therefore, we MUST know our Father's voice.  The temptation to look at fear is the number one way of the enemy to keep us in fear.  But we must in those moments, turn our eyes upon the Father.  It is time alone, in what I call, "the secret place," where I learn to know His voice most clearly.  Time spent in His Word, in prayer, worship, in being still and learning to know He is God!

 

Just a couple days ago, I was going through a battle.  The enemy began to 'up' the rattling noise of his strategy's and it brought out of me, a fierceness of spirit to overcome.  To wage war.  Late that afternoon, I went out pacing beneath the late afternoon sun, in circles.  I felt that the enemy was doing circles around me with fear.  As I stilled my heart, my spirit, and became conscious of the open heaven I believe I live beneath, and became completely in tune and aware of His manifest presence with me, I heard His whispers.  He showed me this:

 

There was a football field with two teams standing on the field.  It was the beginning of the game.  He told me, "one of the teams on the field has been given a word.  They have been told that they have already won the game.  BUT,... they still had to go through the process of playing the game.  They were going to win, but the game itself was yet to be played."

 

This was a game changer for this team.  Why? 

 

The Holy Spirit continued....

"How then does that mean they should play their game?...knowing they will win the game?  They must realize that they have two choices.  They can play from a posture of fear, when the enemy comes hard against them and attacks in the most unexpected ways.  For he will come against them and attack in ways they won't see coming.  Causing them the potential to make moves based on fear.  It won't change the outcome, but it will change the way they go through the game itself. 

 

OR

 

They can play the game from a posture, stance, vision and perspective of Victory.  From a mindset that plays the game from having won, already.  This will allow them to not only play the game from a winning standpoint, but as well, the amount of peace they will play with and the impact on them while playing will change the very atmosphere around them.... and will actually weaken the plans and strategies of the opponent... the enemy.  It will allow the enemy to be frustrated.  While you are playing from a place of strength and joy and peace."

 

"Dawn, you are called to play the game of life from a posture of bringing Heaven to Earth.  You have the choice to set your eyes on Me, to look only at Me, while playing this game, because you know, it has already been won for you.  You need only look at Me.  And play this game of life, which last for only a short time, from a place of Victory, a place of being an Overcomer, a place that says, "no weapon formed against you shall prosper, and I have you held in the palm of My hand.  You are hidden in the shadow of the Almighty God, and my Angels are decreed on your behalf to be sure you don't loose!!!" 

 

I walked from that moment, in a place of greater peace.  A place of knowing that this is a game changer. 

 

That scene in that movie, was another moment that will be imprinted on my heart forever.... a game changer moment for me.  Not one I didn't know... but one that reset my gaze as a flint again, to the North, for that battle, in that moment.  We all need our minds to be "reset" from time to time.  He is faithful to help that happen. 

 

Dear King Jesus,

 

Thank you for turning my gaze to the North, for showing me that I am in a position to play the game of life from Heaven to Earth.  Your Kingdom come, on Earth as it is in Heaven.  Remind me often, to pay no attention to the rattling noises of the enemy,... to see that it really is a "smokescreen" to lies that fall powerless at the mention of Your Name.  That the sword of Truth is always a destroyer of the Lies, and that the enemy must fall and be rendered powerless by the shed blood of Jesus. 

 

I pray Father for ___________________ who is in a battle right now, that feels far darker than it does light for them.  Shine the light of truth on the door handle of her situation, so that the hinges held together by lies, will have no hold any longer. And the open doors of lies be shut tightly, holding know power over them, as they hold to Your truth.  That they might hear your still, small voice, that says, "Be still and know that I am God."  That they may hear those compassionate and loving words, "No, look at Me, you look at Me." 

 

And may they know, it is all the game changer they need, for the battle is and has been already won.  Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Door to God’s Heart by Gabriel Hoffman

I saw the Lord Jesus come to me. He said, “Come, Father has something special for you.” Excited, I followed my Lord and Savior to the throne room. Father God was there in all His majestic glory. He greeted me with a smile. “Son,” He said, “It is time for you to choose your life and ministry.”
“Really?” I responded with joy and amazement. “Oh, Father! This is the day I have been waiting, preparing, and praying for. Is it really time?”

“Yes, My son. It is time. But you must choose wisely, for this will be your life’s work.”
Then I remembered that He was Lord of my life. “But Father, what is your will for me?” He smiled. “Son, I’ve prepared you to serve me in any number of ministries. The choice is yours. Truly I give you the freedom to choose from the set of options I have prepared for you. Any of them will please Me as long as you are faithful in how you carry them out. Do you understand?”
“Yes Father.” I replied, still too stunned to say anything more. Father took me to a great golden door and led me through. It opened to a corridor curving gently downhill and to the left. In the corridor stood a number of tables, each with an object on it. Beside each table was a door that exited the hallway.

“My dear son,” said Father, “We will go to each table and I will explain the ministerial gift and call you may choose. I will answer any questions you have. At any point, you may choose an option and exit through the appropriate door into your ministry and My happiness.”

“Yes Father, I am ready to begin.” The first table was covered in bright green velvet and held a bottle of oil. Over the doorway was inscribed, “HEALING.” I looked questioningly at the Father. “This is the ministry of healing. The green table represents health and life. The bottle is the healing oil of the Holy Spirit. In this ministry you will have power to touch people in spirit, soul and body and bring My healing to many.”

I thought to myself, “This would be great! Oh the aching hearts and broken bodies I could touch. The glory that would be brought to Jesus by this!” Yet, something in my heart tugged at me. “Father! This would be wonderful, but….”

“But I feel you have something even more important for me.” He smiled and led me to the next table. As we walked to the next table, I noticed how the carpet looked worn in front of the door of Healing. I asked Father about this. “Many have chosen this door. Those who were faithful brought great glory to the Kingdom and pleasure to Me. Those who abused the gift brought shame to us and themselves.”
The next table was made of electric blue azure. On it laid a wooden staff. Over the doorway was inscribed “MIRACLES” in blazing letters. As we stopped in front of the table, Father spoke. “The blue represents My power. On the table is Elijah’s staff. With it you can have tremendous power with man and nature. You can do supernatural acts for Me.”

The Staff of Elijah! I had long admired his power, and his mighty exploits for God. And yet, that longing inside my heart was not satisfied. “This would be tremendous, my Lord, but somehow, my heart yearns for something deeper, and more lasting.” I thought I caught a glimmer of approval on Father’s face as He said, “Very well, shall we go on?”

I nodded. We went around the curved corridor until I could no longer see the door by which we entered. Next we came to a table of black marble shot through with white. Over the doorway “PROPHECY” was written in bold block letters on a pure white background. On the table was a worn pair of sandals. As we stopped in front of the table, Father spoke again.
“The colors represent the nature of prophecy. The prophet clearly sets forth the light of the Truth in a world darkened by lies. The sandals belonged to John the Baptist. In this ministry, you would be my oracle to those of the world.”

“Prophecy?!” I thought to myself. “That would be outstanding. I’ve always longed to speak the very words of God. There are so many lies going around the world and even in the Church. There is a desperate need for true prophets in these last days.”

Still, the tugging in my heart did not cease. In fact, it grew stronger. Father smiled again in approval.
“Son, you are wise to be thoughtful about these gifts. They are very powerful and can be quite dangerous if pursued with a wrong heart, like carrying a large electric current through a corroded wire. Many have used these gifts well and have entered into My joy, but too many others have destroyed themselves and those around them in their abuse of these gifts. You are free to choose these, and I will work with and in you for their proper use.”

“Thank you Father, but I desire something deeper and closer to Your heart.”
“Closer to My heart, son? Very well, let us press on.” As we walked farther down the corridor, I noticed two things. First, the light was growing somewhat dimmer and second, I could hear a faint thump-thump in the distance. It sounded like a drum and although I wondered about it, I held my peace.

The next table was made of brightly polished brass. On it laid a finely made trumpet. Over the doorway was written “EVANGELISM” in letters nearly as bright as the sun.

We stopped in front of the table, and I quietly waited for Father to explain this ministry to me. He began speaking. “The ministry of evangelism is very special in the Kingdom. The brass table represents My judgment against sin. The trumpet heralds the Good News that My Son, Jesus, bore the Judgment on behalf of mankind. The brilliant lettering is a glimpse of the Heavenly Kingdom .”
I pondered these things silently for a moment. It would be such a thrill to lead others to New Life in Jesus. There are so many suffering people who need the Good News. The Lord Jesus and the Father deserve to have more people gathered around the Throne in worship and adoration. Does not all of Heaven rejoice each time a sinner repents? I knew that this ministry would bring great joy to the Father, but the tugging on my heart grew stronger.

“Oh Father, this would be truly wonderful, but I feel that you still have something more for me. Father, may we go on?”

“Yes, son. The choice is yours. Let’s go to the next table.”
We walked farther down the corridor and came to a table made of pure white alabaster. On it were a piece of slate and chalk. Over the doorway was written “TEACHING.”

“Son, this is also a very special ministry to the Kingdom. There are so many in dire need of proper teaching of My true Word; the Word as it is recorded in the scriptures and that which is being poured forth day after day from the throne. The white table represents the purity of the properly taught Word. The slate and chalk represent the instruments of an instructor of the things of God.”
This is it, I thought. “This is what I came to Bible School for. I know the Lord has placed a call for teaching on my heart. And, as Father said, it is desperately needed in the body of Christ.”

I was just about to tell Father that this was the one I wanted when I felt the tugging even stronger in my heart. I looked down the corridor. It was dark but it seemed like the drumbeat was coming from that direction. It wouldn’t hurt to see what else Father had available.

“Father, this is the one that I thought was for me, but now I’m not so sure. Can we walk a little farther?”

“Of course, my son.”

As we walked on, I noticed that the light was growing dimmer, and the drum beating was more distinct. I asked Father about it.

“Son, the lights are dimmer here as we descend farther away from the more open and public ministries. As for the drum beating, I think it is best if you discover the source of that for yourself.”
We walked farther down the corridor and came to its end. Three tables were set there; one on each side and one at the end. We stopped in front of the table on the right. It was made of pure silver and glimmered, even in the dim light. On it was a small wooden cross. Across the doorway, written in blood red letters, was the word “LOVE.”

“This is a deep ministry, my son. Few come this far. The silver represents a pure reflective surface for My love to shine upon. The cross is a symbol of the sacrifice of Jesus, in demonstrating ultimate love to the world. The blood-colored letters are a memorial to the blood shed there.”

“Love?” I whispered. “That is what this hurting world needs so incredibly. There are so few who really love with God’s true love. It would be a tremendous privilege to carry His love where He bids.” Yet, the longing in my heart was still not satisfied.

We turned around to see the table on the left wall. It was made of black ebony. On it was a simple mat. Written above the doorway was the word “INTERCESSION.” On the door itself was this question; “Who will stand in the gap?”

The Father spoke quietly. “The black represents the darkness and depth of intercession. It is dark in the prayer closet and an intercessor must be willing to go into the depths of sin to rescue the perishing by prayer. The prayer mat is the simple tool of the intercessor. There are so few intercessors, son. Few people will make themselves so available to Me that they will not despise a work which appears to be nothing while in reality, moves the entire universe.”

“Oh Father, to be a true intercessor. To represent man before You and represent You before man. I would so love to be able to stand in the gap and pray your burdens for the world. I know I would receive little earthly recognition. I would be satisfied in knowing that I was part of your touch in this world. But, what is the final ministry?”

We walked a short distance to stand before the final table and door. There was very little light and the drumbeat was quite loud. The table was made of pure gold and shined with an inner light. On the table was a small golden altar with incense burning. Over the doorway was written, in gold letters,

“MINISTRY UNTO GOD”

Father spoke very quietly, barely audible over the drumbeat. “Son, this is a ministry that very, very few choose. The gold represents divinity. The altar is one that stands in the Heavenly tabernacle and burns fragrant incense to Me. This ministry will not earn earthly recognition. The world and most of the Church may think you spend your time for naught. It is the ministry of service to Me, not to achieve anything or affect the world but merely to be My worshipper, companion, and friend.”
Father stood there looking quietly at the door. I could not see His face in the dim light. I asked Him, “Father, what is your desire?”

“Son, you are free to choose any, I rejoice in all faithful service.”

So, I stood there quietly thinking. What did I really want to do with my life? There are so many needs in the world and in the Church. So few were truly faithful. I knew the workers were few. And yet, I could not shake the growing desire in my heart. To serve God? Nothing else; just to minister unto Him. How many others would there be with me? Would my family understand? What about my Church?

As I pondered all of this, I started thinking about how worthy Father was to be worshipped and adored. That very task would be our heavenly activity, according to the Book of Revelations. Couldn’t a few of us start now? Then I thought of all that Jesus had done for me on the cross.
What higher thing could I do with my life, anyway?

“Father, I choose this door, this path. Are you sure, My son? Yes Father, quite sure. Good son, go in.”
As Father turned to face me, I could see tears streaming down His face. I stopped in amazement. Before I could think about it, I reached up and wiped His tears. I then realized what I had done.
“Father, please forgive me. I didn’t mean to be so impertinent.” He reached down and hugged me. “Son, never be sorry for that. You have dried My tears and you will do it many times again in this ministry. There is so much in the world that brings Me to tears of grief. Only a few move me to tears of joy!

With that, Father opened the door for me and motioned me to enter. As I went in, the first thing that struck me was the drumbeat. It was quieter in the room. I realized that it was not a drumbeat at all, but His heart beat. Next, I saw someone coming to embrace me. I knew just by looking at Him that He was Jesus.

Warmly, He said, “It is wonderful to see you here. So you have chosen to minister to the Father with Myself and the other great people in this room. Slowly, I turned my head. Enoch, Abraham, Moses, Joshua, and many others gazed upon me with welcoming expressions.

“With you? All of you?” I asked bewildered. “Of course! What do you think I was doing for all of eternity before there was any creation? I ministered unto the Father. And now, I’m so glad that you are joining us in this marvelous duty and alliance.

Jesus then turned to me, His expression more serious. “It is time that I give you this precious gift.” In His hand was a beautiful ornate golden key. I was puzzled.

Then He said, “This is the key to God’s Heart. It allows you to have access to Him at all times. You see, this is a Master Key. In His house, it will fit all the doors you passed by.

Because you choose Him and ministry to Him, you will be afforded intercession, teaching, evangelism, love and all the other ministries.

For all of the lesser are found in the Greater!

Blind Devotion: A Light Unto My Path

PLEASE, in order to appreciate the fullness of what I have written, please watch the video first, then read my writing!  It will have greater meaning if you do! Thank you!

At first I wasn't sure where this movie was taking me.  I watched, waiting for that moment when the shifting of my heart would follow the shifting of the story.

That moment came.

And when it did, I was undone.

As I began to see the unfolding of this women's life, the unfolding of her life coming seemingly undone, out of control, I saw also her grasping desperately for control.  She was not about to give up her right to, her passion for, loving her husband.  And, furthermore, not give up the right to continue her days, as she always had.  What faded from her vision, did not fade from her heart.  Determined, she pressed through the darkness, so that she would somehow still feel the light of her love for her world, her husband, upon her heart.

But, in that process she became so hurt, that hurt was expressed in anger.  Her husband knew that there was something beneath that anger, something that invaded her heart in loss.

He steadfastly stood in the shadow of that anger, in love.  In patience.  In step after step faith, that somehow he would see, what was now to him, unseen.

As it was for her.... the world going, unseen.

But along this unseen path they had not expected to have to trod, a new sight broke forth.  A new light, something no one might have ever experienced had it not been for the shadow and unseen realm, to have emerged.

In the darkness of her world closing in around her, someone brought a ray of hope and light to her path.

Her husband saw something in the dark, fading away moments that once held a light of common love and exchnages, and offered a new exchange of love.

Unseen to her, but in radiant beauty, perfectly seen to him.

The courage to love her in a way he never expected.

He walked in her shadow, where he brought perfect light to her world.  Light that had he not walked so closely with her, loving her unseen, she would have never found the courage to walk on, as courageously as she did.

She did not accept defeat, because of the darkness.

He did not allow her darkness, to drown out her light to see.

And together they saw a whole new world of light and love.  A world that now held a greater and even more potent love for each other.

Selfless.

Sacrifice.

Covenant, love.

Peering into this moment, my eyes began to weep.  I heard His whispering voice speak to my darkness, and tell me this.

"This is what I do for you each day, my Beloved.  I follow behind you, so that in the darkness of circumstance, thought and weariness, you make it safely to where I'm leading you.  I go with you, in your shadow, and as I do, I flood your heart, and your mind with light, over and over though the days, in those moments when your crying out for direction, I show you the way.  No, you don't always see me doing this for you.  And, sometimes you get hurt and angry as to how things are going for you.  Sometimes, you are even tempted to blame Me.  But, my Beloved, I see beyond the darkness and into the light of all I not only am going to be giving you along the way, but that which waits eternally for you.  For I have called you to great things, through the darkness...

for it is through the darkness I am teaching you how, to see."

As this all flooded the tears of my soul, that were now wetting the desk I was leaning on to watch ..... I began to see Him, a bit more clearly.  And through the darkness, I began to see into the Light of His Hope, again.

Dear Beloved,

There are so many who are walking in the darkness.  Their hearts have been blinded by the pain and trauma of life.  Over and over again, they have walked feeling alone, desolate and abandoned.  Oh Beloved, open the eyes of their heart that they may see Your Light, leading the way as a lamp unto their feet.  And that you will always be walking with them through the night.... I pray for __________today, Lord, that I might be able in some small way, have the privilege to walk with them through the dark of thier life, so that they may too see Your Light, loving them along their way, through the dark.

In my Beloved Jesus's, Name, Amen~

Stillness in His Presence

Come, My beautiful one, My delight of My eyes. Let Me still the troubled waters of your soul... those waters that seemingly seem to keep you unsettled. Let Me teach you how to be still, be silent, how to embrace the space you make for Me, in a quiet waiting and being before Me, with no words needed. Come, kneel down, and let the cool of the waters, the river of My Presence bring a calm and cooling to the raw wounds of the soul... let My waters, and My Presence wash them with the sweet myrrh of cleansing. For I long to be your 'go to' place of refreshment and solitude and peace. For My solitude is peace, it is stillness in My Presence where the unseen meets the seen. Where I take delight in your coming to Me, that I might pour out upon you, rivers of Peace, that penetrate the turbulent and unstable places of the soul. Come, my dear one... for I have waters you have not yet drank to refresh and wash your troubled soul... ~Selah... 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kbY1qYtCi8&index=56&list=PL01ajXZ-H6uQgv3PuTGA0fi0JqQMOenVW

I'll Meet You There

By nature, I'm profoundly reflective. Sometimes, it is difficult for me. It brings with it many memories; many rich with joy, and some rich with pain. We carry the scars of our wounds differently, each of us. Just as we carry the crowns of glorious moments, differently. Whether it be reflection of pain or joy, rains or sunshine, winds of gentle breezes or winds of gale size storms, the debris that has settled from each one leaves an imprint like the fossils of time in stones and sand. Sometimes excavation is in order... to uncover the wound, encounter healing of those memories. And still others unveil to us, strength and hope, to embrace the roads that lie still, ahead. 
 

There is a song that sums up, beautifully what I am speaking of. It is posted here at the end of this writing. Its a song that, like so many songs can,... says in all the right ways, how life goes on, but leaves with it a hope and a sorrow, that when intermingled, becomes something of beauty.
May you remember,... nothing is wasted, nothing should be forgotten.... and nothing is so far gone, that there is not still, yet remaining... Hope.

.... all those who have in one way or another touched my life, whether for good or for ill.... He, Jesus, will use it all for His story in me, through me, so that the world may again, see a facet of His masterpiece story in the lives of His kids. .... and for those of you who know Him, as your Savior... I'll meet you there one day. For the seasons will inevitably lead us onto different paths.... paths that one day, in Christ will lead us Home.

https://www.youtube.com/watch…

Scraps Of Life

A good friend of mine about ten years ago had given me a couple of bags full of scraps of material.  She had been sewing quilts and had many left over strips and squares of all kinds of fabric prints.  I had not sewn myself much at all, but was learning a little through her.  So she felt maybe I could use them sometime to make my own quilt.  I was so thankful for them.  I didn't use them right away and then I think because of space and Seth being born, I ended up having to put my sewing machine in the garage.  It was given to me by my husbands mother, when she passed away. 

Over the years, all of those things sat in our garage.  I would go through boxes, and when I came to those bags of fabric I often wondered if I was keeping them in vain.  I mean would I really ever get around to making something of them.  I was really good at 'starting' something and not finishing it.  I have a couple afghan's like that still, waiting to be finished.  When we moved into the home we are now in, just a little more than a year ago, I asked myself again... "should I really keep these bags of fabric scraps?"  Of course when you move you often de-clutter that which you haven't used for years and deem no longer needed. But, something in me still believed that I would make something one day of those scraps of material. 

Just this past few weeks, at the beginning of December I was downstairs where our sewing machine is.  I was in the mood to be creative and saw those bags of material sitting on the bottom shelf of the shelving unit.  I decided to toss them on the floor and look at the many scraps of color that filled the bags.  Seth fell in love with all those colorful squares of fabric..."make something, Mommy... can I sew something?"  he asked with glee. 

Suddenly, for whatever reason the idea of making a pillow out of some of them brushed through my mind.  I began gathering squares of colored fabrics all in an array of design and flow, piecing together some idea of a pillow.  Then I began sewing square to square.  Seth loved what was becoming a new little pillow for his bed.  Then once I did that, we both were wanting to make another, but then the question became, for who?  Our friends were planning a play date in a couple weeks, and I thought, "why not make a pillow for each of the kids?"  There are three of them I was considering this for.  So, I did.  Seth helping me with patterns and using the 'gas' pedal on the sewing machine.  Wala!!!  I was finished with two in that afternoon almost.  I simply needed to get more stuffing.  As well, since one of the kids is a boy, I need a more 'boyish' kind of fabric. 

As I looked at the remaining fabric that I had, there was this soft, pale rose like colored fabric with hearts, outlined inside squares.  It was quite a large piece of fabric as well.  I had a few other scraps that were enough to cut squares out of and they matched well with the larger piece.  Starring at this all I saw a quilt in my minds eye.  But the real question became... CAN I DO THIS????  I had little experience with making anything at all on the sewing machine, let alone a quilt.  Matter of fact I have, yep you guessed it,... fabric cut out that I bought the same time my friend was making her quilts, still sitting waiting to be put together in a beautiful quilt. 

I began brain storming whether I could piece this together and do it in any way at all, acceptable.  I figured YouTube would have some help I could learn from.  So, I searched, "how to thread a sewing machine," since I had no idea what I was doing wrong trying to sew those pillows.  Then I began sewing all the squares for the quilt together, and then sewing them to the bigger piece of fabric.  Uh Oh... this is not lining up like I saw in my minds eye... what is wrong... hmmm, ... let's see, what if I do this and then that and then... so I did, this and that, to try and connect it all.  Not at all lined up the way I wanted the corner's to be, but it was looking like a quilt and I was still very excited.  Now it was time to learn about batting and binding... but guess what... I broke a needle, so I had to figure out how to change the needle, and furthermore, did I even have any more needles.  So, I go rummaging through all the supplies that my mother in-law gave me, and sure enough I found some, but then I needed to go to youtube to find out how to change that. 

Then it was a search on youtube for how to sew in batting... and the backing fabric of the quilt.  That I had to purchase at the store, and you know what... I found the perfect fabric... SO EXCITED I was!!!!  BUT.... that did not go so well... sewing the batting.  I needed a "foot" for quilting, so I am rummaging again for a proper "foot."  This was when my needle broke.  Then, the thread kept breaking and gathering in a hairball effect of a mess as I was sewing this all together.  YIKES!!!  I just want to make this for my friend so that I can bless her with my gift. 

Finally, I finished that part... even though it was a beautifully made artistic mess beginning to take shape. 

The last step was the binding, the border of the quilt.. that part that holds it all together and brings it to completion.  I had a large piece of fabric left that was the perfect contrast color I thought for the edging.  Back to youtube I go... how to sew on the binding.  Looked easy enough.  So, off I went to do that. 

Pinning and gathering it to the sewing machine, I began and turning round my first corner, "SNAP!"  Again, a broken needle... this time I didn't need youtube!!!  :) 

But now I saw that it may have been to thick for the needle, so now I had to do the one thing that mattered most.  Make sure that the material is not open in the back and all is sewn closed.  More artistic freedom I had to take to be sure that this goal would be met.  Around and down the long edge I sewed... turned another corner 'artistically" again.... completely showing thread where I didn't want it seen, and too, the border was not appearing as I imagined it would.  Finally, on the homestretch, and I finished.  But, of course, some gaps were remaining so I had to go back and close them up... I really did it.  I pulled it off.  A quilt was in my hands.... mistakes and artistic mess and all.  But, it was done, and it was a quilt. 

It was the day after I had given this to my friends, the pillows for the kids and the quilt for my dear friend.  And of course I shared the whole story with her.  We laughed and she completely "got it!" 

That day after they came over I was doing dishes.  Reflecting on all we shared, on the journey of making that quilt, the Holy Spirit began to speak.  "Dawn, do you not know that just as those scraps that sat in your garage for about ten years, seemingly just scraps in a bag ... do you not know that I can take the scraps of your life, and make something out if it, too?  See, what seemingly feels like just a life of scraps sitting, waiting, for something to be made of them, is something through which My story can be told.  Where the threads woven together in the scraps of situations that felt like mistakes, can by My Spirit, bring rest to many.  Comfort, and warmth... when sewn together in My timing.  In My way... square by square telling a part of the journey that you have taken, and when it all comes together, it brings comfort and warmth to another who feels like the scraps of their life are simply... clutter and waste.

I want you to know that this quilt you made was not just about your friend, but it was about your life...your journey through what you did not know or understand, those moments when you had to come to Me, and try to understand what you were to do, and those moments you went and gave your best for me, with the scraps that you were working with. Those moments that came to you like broken needles piercing your soul... threads completely tangled up by offense, wounding, lies and the like, all amidst a story through the fabric of time.   Oh, daughter do you now understand, that I am taking everything that appears to be simply scraps... stashed away in a bag somewhere, and I'm about to make something that will bring far reaching warmth and comfort, and tremendous hope... to lives of others that are waiting for their life to be made into something far more than just scraps?"

Tears welled up of course as I was listening to His Spirit speak to me.  He saw ten years ago, that as I carried these bags of scraps through the fabric of time, what would become of it one day.  And, I think too... the greatest part for me, was that I was giving it away... mess and all.  I was allowing the mess of my inability to do it perfectly...my journey to learn and pursue how to create something from nothing...  to become something He could perfectly use.  A moment not only for my dear friends who get to enjoy them, but a moment to draw close, one foot step at a time, one square at a time... one moment in time...one corner at a time, so that I could be reminded that nothing in His Kingdom is just 'scraps."  But that He is eternally in the business of making ALL things new!