Scraps Of Life

A good friend of mine about ten years ago had given me a couple of bags full of scraps of material.  She had been sewing quilts and had many left over strips and squares of all kinds of fabric prints.  I had not sewn myself much at all, but was learning a little through her.  So she felt maybe I could use them sometime to make my own quilt.  I was so thankful for them.  I didn't use them right away and then I think because of space and Seth being born, I ended up having to put my sewing machine in the garage.  It was given to me by my husbands mother, when she passed away. 

Over the years, all of those things sat in our garage.  I would go through boxes, and when I came to those bags of fabric I often wondered if I was keeping them in vain.  I mean would I really ever get around to making something of them.  I was really good at 'starting' something and not finishing it.  I have a couple afghan's like that still, waiting to be finished.  When we moved into the home we are now in, just a little more than a year ago, I asked myself again... "should I really keep these bags of fabric scraps?"  Of course when you move you often de-clutter that which you haven't used for years and deem no longer needed. But, something in me still believed that I would make something one day of those scraps of material. 

Just this past few weeks, at the beginning of December I was downstairs where our sewing machine is.  I was in the mood to be creative and saw those bags of material sitting on the bottom shelf of the shelving unit.  I decided to toss them on the floor and look at the many scraps of color that filled the bags.  Seth fell in love with all those colorful squares of fabric..."make something, Mommy... can I sew something?"  he asked with glee. 

Suddenly, for whatever reason the idea of making a pillow out of some of them brushed through my mind.  I began gathering squares of colored fabrics all in an array of design and flow, piecing together some idea of a pillow.  Then I began sewing square to square.  Seth loved what was becoming a new little pillow for his bed.  Then once I did that, we both were wanting to make another, but then the question became, for who?  Our friends were planning a play date in a couple weeks, and I thought, "why not make a pillow for each of the kids?"  There are three of them I was considering this for.  So, I did.  Seth helping me with patterns and using the 'gas' pedal on the sewing machine.  Wala!!!  I was finished with two in that afternoon almost.  I simply needed to get more stuffing.  As well, since one of the kids is a boy, I need a more 'boyish' kind of fabric. 

As I looked at the remaining fabric that I had, there was this soft, pale rose like colored fabric with hearts, outlined inside squares.  It was quite a large piece of fabric as well.  I had a few other scraps that were enough to cut squares out of and they matched well with the larger piece.  Starring at this all I saw a quilt in my minds eye.  But the real question became... CAN I DO THIS????  I had little experience with making anything at all on the sewing machine, let alone a quilt.  Matter of fact I have, yep you guessed it,... fabric cut out that I bought the same time my friend was making her quilts, still sitting waiting to be put together in a beautiful quilt. 

I began brain storming whether I could piece this together and do it in any way at all, acceptable.  I figured YouTube would have some help I could learn from.  So, I searched, "how to thread a sewing machine," since I had no idea what I was doing wrong trying to sew those pillows.  Then I began sewing all the squares for the quilt together, and then sewing them to the bigger piece of fabric.  Uh Oh... this is not lining up like I saw in my minds eye... what is wrong... hmmm, ... let's see, what if I do this and then that and then... so I did, this and that, to try and connect it all.  Not at all lined up the way I wanted the corner's to be, but it was looking like a quilt and I was still very excited.  Now it was time to learn about batting and binding... but guess what... I broke a needle, so I had to figure out how to change the needle, and furthermore, did I even have any more needles.  So, I go rummaging through all the supplies that my mother in-law gave me, and sure enough I found some, but then I needed to go to youtube to find out how to change that. 

Then it was a search on youtube for how to sew in batting... and the backing fabric of the quilt.  That I had to purchase at the store, and you know what... I found the perfect fabric... SO EXCITED I was!!!!  BUT.... that did not go so well... sewing the batting.  I needed a "foot" for quilting, so I am rummaging again for a proper "foot."  This was when my needle broke.  Then, the thread kept breaking and gathering in a hairball effect of a mess as I was sewing this all together.  YIKES!!!  I just want to make this for my friend so that I can bless her with my gift. 

Finally, I finished that part... even though it was a beautifully made artistic mess beginning to take shape. 

The last step was the binding, the border of the quilt.. that part that holds it all together and brings it to completion.  I had a large piece of fabric left that was the perfect contrast color I thought for the edging.  Back to youtube I go... how to sew on the binding.  Looked easy enough.  So, off I went to do that. 

Pinning and gathering it to the sewing machine, I began and turning round my first corner, "SNAP!"  Again, a broken needle... this time I didn't need youtube!!!  :) 

But now I saw that it may have been to thick for the needle, so now I had to do the one thing that mattered most.  Make sure that the material is not open in the back and all is sewn closed.  More artistic freedom I had to take to be sure that this goal would be met.  Around and down the long edge I sewed... turned another corner 'artistically" again.... completely showing thread where I didn't want it seen, and too, the border was not appearing as I imagined it would.  Finally, on the homestretch, and I finished.  But, of course, some gaps were remaining so I had to go back and close them up... I really did it.  I pulled it off.  A quilt was in my hands.... mistakes and artistic mess and all.  But, it was done, and it was a quilt. 

It was the day after I had given this to my friends, the pillows for the kids and the quilt for my dear friend.  And of course I shared the whole story with her.  We laughed and she completely "got it!" 

That day after they came over I was doing dishes.  Reflecting on all we shared, on the journey of making that quilt, the Holy Spirit began to speak.  "Dawn, do you not know that just as those scraps that sat in your garage for about ten years, seemingly just scraps in a bag ... do you not know that I can take the scraps of your life, and make something out if it, too?  See, what seemingly feels like just a life of scraps sitting, waiting, for something to be made of them, is something through which My story can be told.  Where the threads woven together in the scraps of situations that felt like mistakes, can by My Spirit, bring rest to many.  Comfort, and warmth... when sewn together in My timing.  In My way... square by square telling a part of the journey that you have taken, and when it all comes together, it brings comfort and warmth to another who feels like the scraps of their life are simply... clutter and waste.

I want you to know that this quilt you made was not just about your friend, but it was about your life...your journey through what you did not know or understand, those moments when you had to come to Me, and try to understand what you were to do, and those moments you went and gave your best for me, with the scraps that you were working with. Those moments that came to you like broken needles piercing your soul... threads completely tangled up by offense, wounding, lies and the like, all amidst a story through the fabric of time.   Oh, daughter do you now understand, that I am taking everything that appears to be simply scraps... stashed away in a bag somewhere, and I'm about to make something that will bring far reaching warmth and comfort, and tremendous hope... to lives of others that are waiting for their life to be made into something far more than just scraps?"

Tears welled up of course as I was listening to His Spirit speak to me.  He saw ten years ago, that as I carried these bags of scraps through the fabric of time, what would become of it one day.  And, I think too... the greatest part for me, was that I was giving it away... mess and all.  I was allowing the mess of my inability to do it perfectly...my journey to learn and pursue how to create something from nothing...  to become something He could perfectly use.  A moment not only for my dear friends who get to enjoy them, but a moment to draw close, one foot step at a time, one square at a time... one moment in time...one corner at a time, so that I could be reminded that nothing in His Kingdom is just 'scraps."  But that He is eternally in the business of making ALL things new!