I am learning most deeply and intimately, what it looks like to die; in the secret place with Him. In my getting alone time with Him. IN the weeping, in the crying out, in the wrestling of injustice and the hungering for answers. In the orphaned places of circumstances where the agony of life's Gethsemane surrounds you, and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire, where you feel caged in by evil that surrounds you... where the learning how to die is not pretty.
Where learning to die is learning to recognize what truths were exchanged for lies. How the agreements made in those lies, can only be sweetly broken in drinking down the cup of repentance... A cup that can only be swallowed when our gaze has been finally met with His.
It is not a sojourn for the faint of heart. I think this is why Dietrich could pen this statement, it's why Jesus said, "take up My cross daily." Why the "grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die." It is in the crucible of His hand, this death must come forth... where His image is born. Where the enduring, brings forth a light in darkness, and where death brings forth life.
In the secret place of the Most High.
Is it possible this is why, "many are called but few are chosen?"
For many, a sojourn with Christ, starts with sacrifice. Then, for some it becomes a relationship of, obedience. But, then there are those who have come through the sacrifice, obedience and are now at a crossroads of submission.
"Yes, my Lord, gladly my Lord... "
This is where the called.... and the chosen, may very well part ways.
For this is truly for me, where death occurred. A death that brought Him as my beloved; into the heart of me, His bride... in such a way that now... there is no other master.
I don't know that one can truly die publicly for such a King... until they have died privately, as His Bride, Lover, Daughter, and Friend, within the crucible of submission.
But, it took a long road of suffering... and sometimes that suffering continues.
No... not suffering and persecution like in the other countries.. And I can't begin to fathom enduring such suffering... Help me, Lord, the day that comes to me... of which I don't think is too far off from a very real and potential reality. May I not cower, but stand, Lord Jesus...
But, I also haven't known perhaps the joy and empowering of such an honor, the intimate and profound reward that comes with such a cup. Nonetheless, my road has trod its share of suffering. How do I know? Because of not only what my sufferings have taken from me, but what it could not take. What I have gotten in return for, suffering.
More of Him, and essentially, more of me. The me He saw from the very beginning. His Bride. His Daughter. His Friend. His Lover.
I just recently noticed in the Beatitudes, something very intriguing. There are only two of them, that proclaim the very same promise. "Blessed are the poor in spirit," & "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake" ==They both have the same promise given to them:
"For theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
What is the Kingdom of Heaven? Righteousness, Peace and Joy, IN the Holy Spirit. Is this what I am thirsting for? Yes!!! Am I willing to pay the price? To not only answer the call, but walk the road of being completely mastered by Him? To the point of dying? Daily? Will I submit to the journey?
It is a call... it is a journey. It is a place only you can choose... only I can choose. What say you, when He bids you to come?
I've heard His call...
I'm making the journey...
For it is a journey worthy of such a call, a call worth; dyeing for.
