"Have you considered my servant Job"...

There lived a man named Job.  Job was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.  He has seven sons and three daughters, and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants.  He was the greatest man among all the people of the East. Job 1:1-3


I began reading Job one night, and began to be struck by many things.  Some of these things I have read much in the past and so was well familiar with.  Such as his being blameless, upright, and all the blessing and wealth of which he had.  But as I continued to read, I began to be just overwhelmed by some of the realities of this story.  And so, I invite you to join me in sharing about Job.


Verse 6-  One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them.  


First, if you know anything about Satan biblically speaking, he was the highest angel in heaven created by God Himself.  But, as we read in Isaiah 14, we see his pride and fall from Heaven.  I am just struck by a few things here.  First, all the angels come and present themselves before God, and along comes Satan to join them.  It's amazing to me that the very one who was cast from the presence of God, wanted to be God himself, decides to come into the presence of God with all the other angels who did not fall.  It begged right away for me, why?  


Verse 7
The Lord said to Satan, "Where have you come from?"  (thought, God is all knowing, yet he asked this question of Satan.  God knows where Satan came from both by way of his creation and therefore knows always his whereabouts.)  Satan answered the Lord, "From roaming throughout the earth and going back and forth in it."


When I read this reply of Satan, it was the most uncanny feeling and idea in me.  Like Satan is saying, well, I was wandering around, looking for my next attack and well, I just thought I would come and inquire with you God, why do you ask?  Or, maybe, Satan knew exactly where and who he was planning his next attack on, but was so aware of the power and hand of God on Job, ...decided to talk with God first about the matter.  Or, just the mere thought of one sooooo evil, making a point to enter into the presence of not just His creator, but the very one in whom all things were created and the very one who holds ultimate and complete power.  It is unreal to me to think of having such evil and still coming into the presence of God, being Satan himself, to inquire with God.  I'm struck too at the idea of how Satan was just roaming...looking, calculating for his next victim.


But then we read this:
Verse 8
"Then the Lord"....wo wo wo, stop right there, who?  The Lord????  "said to Satan, "Have you - considered - my - servant - Job?"  Look at that verse...what is one to do with that????


I must say right here, I am not about to tackle in a way that claims to know or have the answer to some of the hard questions about God...I have not His wisdom to the ways He brings about His purposes...for we read in Isaiah 55:7-9 "Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. For My thoughts are not your thoughts and My ways are not your ways declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."


However, God is volunteering Job to Satan, almost as if to say, why Satan, why haven't you considered my servant Job?.  God shows us clearly too that Job is "My servant".  God's servant.  Have you ever felt like or wondered if maybe Satan got permission to mess with your life?  I surely have.  And then, what do I do with such wondering's?  


But that is not all God tells Satan...He doesn't just ask him if he has considered, but then gives him even more reason for that considering, listen:
..."There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."  It's like God is giving Satan a sales pitch...or like he's giving a closing statement at an election ceremony, as to why you should pick "that guy".  He is completely singling Job out amongst all of mankind living on the earth at this point....I mean what is God thinking here...?  What is going on?  Huge pondering moment for me here...


But then, we get Satan's reply...listen:
"Does Job fear you for nothing?  Have you not put a hedge of protection around him and his household and everything he has?  You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land.  But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."


So, here we have what seems/sounds like a literal debate, once again, all in the presence of the Creator of all things, in the Holy of Holy places...over one man's livelihood and wellbeing.  It is interesting to me what Satan is aware of..."have you not put"....  Satan sees the source of all that Job is and has.  He sees that there is a mighty hand of God's blessing and protection all around Job's life and family and wealth.  He sees that there is something surrounding Job of which he has no access.  Perhaps this is in part why Satan comes to God, makes a trip into His presence.  He sees a man of which he want's to bring down, the best of the best,....but has no access, and seeks out the source of that hedge ....but still, it is God who suggests Job to Satan.  Satan if fully aware of where the source of all good and perfect gifts comes from...and it is Satan's very threat to all his schemes...the reality that he knows he has not the full and final control, yet he continues to play the warfare of trying to win as many to himself as he can.  There is such a supernatural battle of which we see not, 90% of the time.  I also wonder, how desperate Satan had to be to even consider entering into the presence of God...and then it is God who throws the first question.  We don't even really hear Satan give us a reason as to why he is there, but only that he is roaming to and fro...implying he is desperately looking for the next victim.  So much so that he comes to talk with the ultimate King in the story, of which he knows, will win in the end.  


But, Satan stills plows forward with a challenge, a ultimatum if you will.  Verse 11- "but, stretch out Your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."  So we hear Satan basically throw out what he himself wants to do to Job...but it is God he asks to do so...not himself, but God strike Job.  (Pondering....)  Satan knows his limits...knows he has no power beyond that which is given him...and even more, he knows he has not full power nor authority ...but that only if God lifts that hedge off of Job, and God himself...afflict Job.  I can't even wrap my head around how much evil must be in a created being, to come before the very creator and ask for suffering such as Job endured to come against him....like do you really understand the depth of depravity and pride at work in Satan to have the '....' you know...to ask God to do such things?


Then....then....then....
Verse 12
"The Lord - said - to Satan; "Very well, then,..."  Ok stop right there...H-A-L-T....what did I just read?????  Um, how does one swallow that pill?  Very well then.....are you kidding me, that easily, like, uh, Ok, sure Satan, whatever you want....and God continues to say, "everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger."  Did I just read God gave everything into the hand of Satan, but his life itself?  What is up with that, I ask?  So, what is up with that....


And then that verse ends by saying..."Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord".
I don't know about you, Christian or not, but to go out of the presence of the Lord with that much evil interchanged...that much conversation of how to destroy and attack ones life....I can't imagine personally going where Satan did, 'into the presence of the Lord with all the angels"....and leaving at all.  Let alone leaving with having had that conversation and agenda planned out.  Whew....could you imagine this story made into a Hollywood movie...bring it on Mel!  It would be quite a story to see, be it put into the right producer.


Maybe you are wondering, asking, pondering, considering, is this my life?  I think many of us would be surprised at the amount of attack and how much really does go on in the supernatural of our life.  What is happening that we cannot see.  That we really do have a foe, Satan, who is roaming to and fro looking for one, as a lion, to which he will devour.  But I think the harder question for many is the one that is most difficult to answer...
Why did God do this?  Why does God allow this?  What is up with all of this talk about, 'have you considered my servant Job'?  How often is this same conversation happening even now?  What are the reasons for God's response/questions?  


Perhaps, this is the very place some of us might begin to be drawn into a deep study of who God is and isn't.  Perhaps, this tugs at the strings of your own experiences and makes you cry out in anger at God....is this what happened to me?!!!  What kind of God does this anyway?  


I invite you to ponder, as you begin perhaps your own digging- into the life of Job.

Again

Verse 1:

You feel all alone.

Heart's dry as a bone.
And it keeps on breaking.
Jagged edges like glass.
Piercing deep from your past.
Dreams left for the taking.

Chorus:

You wonder why

Should tides turn back the time 

Such sad goodbyes, 

Longing to leave my

Sin behind-

Again...again....again

Verse: 2

Far too many roads.

Beckon for my soul.

They reach for the taking. 

Life can be very crass.

Seen only in my past.

While wounds cry out aching.

Chorus:

You wonder why,
Should tides turn back the time,

Such sad goodbyes.

Longing to leave my 

Sin behind-

Again, again, again

Bridge:

You see my condition.

Dark side to addiction.

Yet, still You come to me.

Embracing, Enfolding,

all Encompassing.

Healing even me....

Again, again, again...

Chorus:

You long this time,

Should you turn back the tide,

To say goodbye.

Move far away from 

Severed ties-

Again...again...again.

Dawn Shape
Embrace The Dance Publishing
Copyright 2011

Until It Rains

I haven't written again in so long.  It's been a hard way of trying to figure out my life as a Mom, and my life as Me.  Finding the time, without being so tired, having more to do than can be finished, before I am able to even pen the ocean of thoughts living inside me. 


I have found myself sitting silently while the same song washes over and over again.  Songs of worship mostly.  Lately, it seems that I hear a new song weekly that I just can't get enough of.  And, no matter how tired I am...it feels sad to have to turn it off.  I don't know many souls that love to sit and let the same song wash over their spirit over and over again.  My son, Seth, he does.  But then he is wired like me and so that is not a surprise - but a fresh wind of comfort.


There is a comfort when you find a song that you want to have washing over you and over you...  The kind of moment where you immediately put the settings on "loop song".  For me I think it's about intimacy.  Do you ever long to just know that you are fully known?  It's why I love worship.  I am brought into this intimate place with my creator.  The One Who created all of me.  Who looks at what He has created and proclaims, "You were fearfully and wonderfully made."  


I'm humbled at that truth.


I sit in a quiet stillness, while my soul is raging and yet frozen still before His presence.  And then it happens...the moment when my voice opens up, in harmony with my soul that is opening at that same moment, and I cry up with all abandon, and pour out- my song.  My voice.  My longings filled with all of who I am that so many never see.  But He sees, all the time.  


I am so captivated by how my heart and soul can be raging in passionate desire for longings so longing to be filled, and yet my soul can be paralyzed in a sacred holiness, filled with awe and wonder at His enormous and most beautiful exchange of love for me.  

And I am brought to tears when I see the wounds that long to be Healed in the midst of this presence.  


There is so much, regarding the issue of healing.  Not intended to be written about here...but couldn't ignore the direction this is going. 


I'm learning and finding a peace before His presence.  While welcoming my quiet- raging longings.  The paradox is of ones inevitable, inescapable reality of feeling as though the very seams of ones seemingly intense reality, is constant; while the very stillness that comes in the Holy presence of majesty, humbles and stills me in a quiet love that just paralyzes my very self to almost nothing--- but a voice and heart held vertical while at the same time, hung on nothing of myself, and hung on the reality of His death and resurrection.


I am struck by something of being in the presence of worship.  I never want to leave.  I never get enough.  I always want more.  I don't know many things in my life that have that powerful of a dynamic working all simultaneously. 


What is my point of writing tonight...I think just to get my thoughts out.  I am struggling with a lot of sadness and longing for things that are not in my reach or control.  Things that involve in some real ways, resignation.  A place for which I have walked all too often.  And so, I sit here listening to the song "Let It Rain" being sung by Jesus Culture and I just want to sit all night long and give myself permission to write and talk as though someone who really gets my soul, is listening.  


The truth is, He is always listening...If I could only just absorb that comfort fully.


I don't know what my life has ahead for it.  But, I hear the cry of this song, "Let it rain, Let it rain, open the floodgates of heaven, Let it rain...


I feel a kindred echoing from inside me that sings this with such intensity and abandon....that I'm waiting for that rain to just shower me, gush over me, consume and capture me into a place of unstoppable healing...


Let it rain, let it rain, open the floodgates of heaven...

I will keep singing.  I will keep longing ...for more of His rain.